Getting married? The Focus talk you need to have before tying the knot

BUSINESS NEWS - The real, foundational work for a successful marriage is in the financial alignment you achieve.

You’re madly in love, planning the wedding, and debating canapés, photographers and seating plans, but have you talked about debt, spending habits, long-term goals and how these fit into your financial journey together?

Money is a leading cause of conflict and divorce. Your marriage is, in essence, a financial merger, and just like any business deal, success depends on due diligence and a shared strategy.

As the saying goes, ‘Success favours the focused’. To be focused, you need to replace guesswork and assumptions with transparent communication and a clear financial roadmap.

Before exchanging vows, it’s a good idea to exchange financial beliefs. This isn't about being judgmental but rather about creating a plan for a resilient future.

Here are some suggestions to use as a framework for that all-important ‘money talk’ prior to saying your vows:

Debt and assets: What outstanding debts do you have (credit cards, car payments or student loans)? What are your individual assets (investments, property)? How do you plan to manage your existing debt?
The monthly income flow: Will you combine all your bank accounts, keep them separate, or use a hybrid approach such as a joint account for shared expenses? How will your budget be structured, and who will be responsible for paying which bills?
Lifestyle and expectations: What are your non-negotiables? Are you a spender or a saver? Are you aligned on whether you will be budgeting for an annual international trip, a local holiday or would you prefer to be saving for a deposit on a home? What are your comfort levels when it comes to risk (investing) and spending?
Big goals and windfalls: What are your savings goals (a house, children's education, retirement)? How will unexpected money, like a bonus or inheritance, be handled and allocated?
Familial support: Do either of you have an existing or anticipated responsibility to support family members financially? How will you set clear boundaries around providing financial help to extended family?

An imbalanced money dynamic, particularly if one partner is the primary breadwinner or earns significantly more than the other, can be damaging to a relationship which is why having a financial discussion before marriage will help to set clear expectations and avoid resentments in the future.

Having these discussions can be uncomfortable, and emotions often run high. This is where a qualified financial adviser becomes invaluable, acting as a neutral third party to facilitate the conversation.

They won't take sides, but they will ask the hard questions you might be avoiding and provide objective advice on structures, including your marital property regime (in community of property, or with/without the accrual system).

Their expertise ensures you transition your individual finances into a cohesive strategy, making your financial goals concrete and measurable. Professional advice is key to ensuring your financial foundation is as strong as your emotional bond.

Echoing your plans in a will is the next part of the financial process that ensures that you also have your wishes carried out in the way that best suits both. Do not wait until the time is right, or conflict arises.

Taking action now, is the ultimate act of commitment to your partner and your future. Couples who are aligned around money from the start of their marriage are better equipped to handle the inevitable curve balls that will come their way. and set themselves up for long-term marital success.

Cebile Zibi, Head of Trade Marketing at Momentum Advice.