I took this off a Facebook page called Piglet and Me….it could’ve just as well been me who wrote this. I am a recovering chees-a-holic.

The ten commandments of cheese 

1. There is no such thing as “too much cheese”.
2. The thickness of the bread will not be greater that the thickness of the cheese.
3. When making the sandwich you must eat at least two slices of cheese whilst in the process.
4. Only the right relishes will be used.
5. The use of others such accruements like mayonnaise is punishable by stoning.
6. Onions yes, tomatoes yes, lettuce, you heathen!
7. Can be eaten with other foodstuffs such as chips but they must be in the same flavour group, cheese and onion is good.
8. “Can I have a bite, please” questions are answered with only with a glaring look, you do not share a cheese sandwich.
9. Cheese in a squeezy tube is not cheese, it’s flavoured gunk, you cannot make a cheese sandwich with gunk, in fact set fire to any “squeezy cheese” then run over it, repeatedly.
10. Never run out of cheese, hoard cheese, have cheese stashed in your wardrobe, NEVER RUN OUT OF CHEESE.