LIFESTYLE NEWS - 90% of women who have found the strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship become financially independent.
This is according to a survey of 100 domestic abuse survivors conducted by the 1st for Women Foundation.
31% of the abuse survivors interviewed said that it took a year to regain their confidence following an abusive relationship. Others said it could take anywhere between three months and two years to take back control of their lives and enjoy the freedom that is rightfully theirs.
The Department of Justice estimates that one out of every four South African women are survivors of domestic violence. “For some women the decision to leave an abusive relationship is instantaneous while for others, it is one that is reached over time,” says Robyn Farrell, Trustee of the 1st for Women Foundation.
“78% of the women surveyed left an abusive relationship thanks to the support of their mother, friends and/or family.”
Despite the fact that 52% of the women believed that their life would be worse if they left their abusive partner, 30% of the women said that as abuse survivors they are now content with who they are, and 32% said that they are finally the person they were always meant to be.
As to how they managed to leave their abusive relationships, responses varied. Many left for the sake of their children, or ran way, leaving when he wasn’t at home.
One respondent said that it was the realisation that no child should witness any disrespect to or abuse of their mother and that it took a while but she became brave enough to walk out the door with her child in tow and said that it was the best decision she ever made.
Rebuilding inner confidence
One woman who was surveyed worked on rebuilding her inner confidence while still in the relationship. Six months before ending it, she read an article on abuse. “This prompted her to start a positive and inspiring ritual,” says Farrell. Each morning, she would look herself in the mirror, and recite the following mantra: ‘I love you and you deserve more because you are worthy of more.’
Farrell points out that the most encouraging outcome of this survey was the willingness of women to share even their darkest moments to help other women get through theirs.
