Forty days and forty nights. Not all alone in the desert, but certainly feeling disconnected and left out in the cold since I quit smoking on St Patrick's Day, 17 March.
But hey, kicking the habit is a lonely battle, and I did it!
On top of this I've given up carbs and go to gym every morning at 6am, but don't ask me to give up my evening drink (nudge nudge wink wink). Ultra clean living is no fun and I believe it to be bad for the psyche if you don't have at least one vice.
My loved ones and I love the good life. That's why they're my loved ones. Unfortunately 'the good life' equates to forbidden, low-hanging fruit - easily accessible and oh, so morish.
What's better than eating high calorie, robust food? Dishes like stifado - a saucy, rich Greek beef stew eaten with chunks of crusty bread and enjoyed with a bottle or two of red wine - each.
After that you relish delicious melt-in-the-mouth chocolate truffles followed by a cigar or a good-quality cigarette - all this while solving every problem in the world.
But since stubbing out my last cigarette, I am avoiding most temptations and I must say, my life is notably less satisfying.
I am not going to kid myself. I miss smoking and I miss carbs.
My own conversation is a bore and my man makes me angry. The wine that I sneak at night is just a reminder that I can't have more.
According to one of the brightest minds who ever lived, the late author and journalist, Christopher Hitchens, humans are addiction prone and that these addictions make life tolerable.
He said there would be far more suicides if people were unable, or not allowed to, smoke and drink. He should have included carbs.
Sadly the brilliant man - a heavy smoker who enjoyed a whiskey as much as the next fellow - died of complications related to oesophageal cancer in 2011, at the tender age of 62.
If he had lived a more sober life, chances are he would still be around, but with less enjoyment. He said cigarettes helped him concentrate and made him a better writer.
Before his death, he insisted that despite the cancer, given the choice to start over, he would smoke and drink again.
Pity we couldn't keep the brilliant and incredibly witty Hitchens alive, but unfortunately nature gifted us with fragile bodies whose longevity depends on a brain that just happens to get off on substances like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar and psilocybin.
Throw in the affinity for speed, adrenaline rushes and high risk pastimes and it's a miracle that any of us make it beyond 18.
By the way, for those who haven't encountered psilocybin, it is the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, but when it comes to addiction, it could be the exception to the rule. Research is increasingly proving that not only is this hallucinatory substance not addictive, it may actually counteract numerous harmful conditions - including addiction!
But no, you won't find me foraging for exotic fungi in the Outeniqua forest, I'm too scared I mistake "toxic" for "magic".
Yes, that's the only reason I gave up cigarettes: to hopefully live longer while enjoying a good quality of life as I age. I'm doing exactly the opposite to what Hitchens did, but, like Hitchens, I believe freedom of choice is everything.
If you have fun indulging in potentially harmful things without causing anybody else harm, it should be your good right to indulge in whatever you enjoy.
I found smoking utterly enjoyable, but it was time to say goodbye.
I just had to kill that cigarette before it killed me.
PS - This is my last update about my battle to stop, as I believe I have in fact, stopped. If ever I lose my status as a former smoker, I promise to own up to the fact that I am a hedonistic loser.
Ilse Schoonraad is a journalist and heads up the digital team at Group Editors.
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