Nicholas Neaves: The intimacy of goodbye

In my work with intimacy, in the realm of relationships, we often romanticise a connection between two people and think of intimacy in this way.

I'd like to go back and share of another type of intimacy, where you walk your beloved through illness and ultimately into their new life, a life beyond, the point of no return, the point of goodbye, forever.

There is a sacred intimacy in walking a loved one through illness, through suffering, through the threshold between here and the next life.

To witness their pain, to hold them as they let go, to stand at the edge of what once was and what will never be again - this is love in its most raw and unfiltered form.

I think of Alicia, my wife and a mother saying goodbye to her three girls, knowing she would not see them grow up.

The depth of that grief, the weight of that love, the unbearable bravery of releasing what you would give anything to hold on to, that's a place many fear, resist and cannot bear.

These moments are captured and at first rejected and held back from the heart, and then the moment of surrender happens.

You witness those moments. In slow motion you see Grace entering the room and everything dissolves and your heart broken into a depth of intimacy between mother, daughters and a wife that creates an experience of light flooding your vessel that remains forever more.

To carry the weight of their legacy while your heart breaks open like this has no deeper surrender, no greater act of devotion. This light and love has left me in awe of my girl's mother and her bravery, faith and ultimately her passing as I kissed her forehead one last time. Intimacy.

To Alicia, thank you!

This is what love asks of us: to be there, to hold, to witness, to release. To honor the pain and the light in equal measure. To let love be the bridge between what was and what remains.

I believe the heart is always reminded of the amount of intimacy and light it's seen and so it takes a lot for new people to touch me to this same depth.

Since this time I've had one other touch with grace, with love, adventure and beauty but sadly she walked away. Her name even meant messenger of God. The best year of my life! The love remains and it's all okay.

Today I speak about intimacy and love to liberate light, grace and healing within others, and with my three girls I am grateful for the love light and beauty life offers.

To all those on the precipice,

To all those saying goodbye,

To those alone in deepest pain,

your moments reverberate into all of our consciousness, deep gratitude for your path.

Let's all let go…

And find intimacy once again.