Translate to: 

We’ll even cause Vikings to frown

How do we come across to foreigners? Vilgot, a Swedish acquaintance not given to small talk, gives a guttural monosyllabic answer: “Funny”. Meaning humorous? He manages three words: “No, no, weird”.
Asked for examples, he’s more verbally forthcoming. “Men walk around shopping centres without shoes. If only they’d wash their feet, cut and scrape their claw-like toenails that picked up dog turd and mud. While waiting for my turn at a barbershop, two grown men walk in bare footed. Disgusting! Unbelievable!” He figures if they can afford a haircut, they can afford shoes.
The other habit he finds fascinating is the expression: “Yes, no, OK, fine”. He asks whether it’s yes, or no, or OK? It can’t mean all three. And, in his vocab, OK is the same as fine. “It would’ve confused Viking King Cnut the Great, never mind us dumb Swedes,” he says, forcing a smile.
And he spots “church people” by the way they piously enunciate their words. “And they ooze politeness, as if preaching from a pulpit. I feel like a sinner”.
He also finds our braai occasions unique. “The men stand around the fires clutching beer cans and pontificating about rugby, while sulky women sit indoors pulling their husbands apart while knitting or making salad. By the time the meat comes off the fire the men are pissed and the women pissed off”.
Fed-up with his rude assessment, I counter: “And what do Swedes do when they barbeque?”
“Simple. Everybody, men and women, get pissed - together”.
Coincidentally, I came across this piece defining a typical Swede: “They are ironically direct people. However, their directness can be subtle and hard to read. You could say in some ways this quiet directness is similar to being passive aggressive”. Hey?
I thought it prudent not to mention this to Vilgot. Instead I ask him whether he knows any Swedish jokes.
“But, of course. Like, a Swede calls the airline and asks how long it will take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. ‘Just a moment,’ the clerk say. "Oh, thank you,’ the Swede replies, and hangs up”. He chokes on a guffaw, and is on a roll. “Did you hear abortion has caught on so well in Sweden there's a 10-month waiting period”. Hawr-hawr-hawr.
Sounds a lot like a Van der Merwe. Tee-hee.
10:31 (GMT+2), Fri, 17 March 2017
Your Comments...
Login or Register here.
*To REGISTER you will be directed to the registration page. Once you have completed the registration process, please return to this page.



US Dollar
Pound Sterling
Australian Dollar
New Zealand Dollar
Canadian Dollar
UAE Dirham
Singapore Dollar
Chinese Yuan

Moon Cycle



Get your free daily horoscope + free daily forecast below.
Choose your zodiac sign:
March 21 - April 19
September 23 - October 22
April 20 - May 20
October 23 - November 21
May 21 - June 20
November 22 - December 21
June 21 - July 22
December 22 - January 19
July 23 - August 22
January 20 - February 18
August 23 - September 22
February 19 - March 20

Movie Trailers

Frank Adler (Chris Evans) is a single man raising a child prodigy - his...
Blindsided by a new generation of blazing-fast racers, the legendary...
In Rough Night, an edgy R-rated comedy, five best friends from college...
Johnny Depp returns to the big screen as the iconic, swashbuckling...
Before she was Wonder Woman, she was Diana, princess of the Amazons,...


Air hockey is one of everyone's favorite challenges! Represent your...
This is the most advanced edition of the popular online version of Pool...
In this Digital Domino Game all the rules are the same as the real game....
The classic mind-wracking math puzzle game is now online! With a brad new...
Voting Poll
Large tracts of indigenous vegetation were destroyed in the Eden district fires. Would you participate in an effort to re-establish the natural vegetation by growing seedlings at home?
YES: Provided I receive the seeds I will do whatever it takes to help with the regrowth of local natural vegetation.
Mossel Bay Advertiser 67%
NO: Mother Nature cannot be interfered with.
Mossel Bay Advertiser 33%
I'm a 60 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 45 and 63.
I'm a 47 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 23 and 40.